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He told me he didn't want to. That he didn't see anything wrong with what I had done. Most boys experimented in their lives. He told me had no idea how to disciple me. He had only seen my uncle use the belt on my cousin.“Your mother told me to beat the gay from you,” my father said.My father told me he was sorry as he had no idea what he was doing or where the belt might have been landing. He had only seen my cousin get the belt from his father. He told me he might have had his eyes closed tighter than I had mine. He told me to look around all this was for my mother and me, not him. He told me my mother hung the moon and he but held the ladder. Your mother is my world she threatened to leave me if I didn't beat the gay from you.“Your damn mother told me she had explained all this to you.” “Or least as far as he knew she had,” He said shaking his head.He told me after it had happened he felt bad because of what he had done. He even told my mother he was never doing something like that. The bow is still in my handbag, the one my Mistress had tied around the packet with the dress, next to the letter with the short but precise instructions - not more than the time, the address and the short sentese "Wear this, nothing else, go to the personell and ask for lesbian bondage magazines."My stomach rolls into a knot as I recall those instructions, but I have promised to follow them unconditionally so I resist the urge to turn on my heels and flee back into the anonymity of the dark side street. I stalk slowly over to the counter while trying to keep images of greasy sales clerks und lusty looks out of my mind, then around a clothes rack full of see-through underwear and come to halt somewhat surprised and insecure.The girl who sits there, I consciously call her girl because she can't be much older than eightteen, looks like she has sprung from one of my wet fantasies. She reclines her juvenile body in a futuristic chair made from black leather and chrome and smiles at me.
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